Here are your WWE Friday Night SmackDown! results, courtesy of our friend Mike Hogan at Rajah.com!
We open with Michael Cole welcoming us to SmackDown. Stephanie announces that earlier today, Vince McMahon retired from the WWE and the crowd boos. She points out that he founded and created the company, and that he recently thanked the WWE Universe. She's interrupted by a "thank you, Vince" chant. She tells the crowd to hold on a sec. She praises everyone involved in SmackDown, from the cameramen to the refs to the Superstars and to "even Michael Cole." She then tells the crowd it's time to thank Vince, and leads them in a "thank you, Vince" chant. She mouths "I love you, dad," into the camera and heads off screen.
The Profits come out as Steph leaves and cut a quick promo about taking on the Usos next weekend at SummerSlam. They're interrupted by Theory, who comes out with his Money in the Bank case in hand. He states he's going to take back his United States Championship from Bobby Lashley at SummerSlam and cash on later on either "the Beast" Brock Lesnar or Roman Reigns. He starts to explain why "it ain't gonna matter" when out come the 368-day tag team champions, the Usos. The Usos back Theory up into the ring and lay into him on the mic, stating "some people don't know how to keep the Tribal Chief's name out of their mouth." The Usos threaten that if Theory says his name one more time, then he's going to hurt him. Montez Ford cackles and Theory states Ford and "your wife" (Bianca Belair) "are both leaving SummerSlam without titles (in your hands)." Ford and Theory begin to brawl; the Usos and Street Profits join the fray. Madcap Moss hits the ring to help even the numbers and all six men pair off and brawl. The Profits clear the Usos and hit a double-superkick to Theory off a Madcap Irish Whip! Dawkins gets some assist from Madcap Moss in an over-the-top rope senton that wipes out the Usos and Theory!
Nakamura makes his way out and Pat McAfee flips his shit, dancing on the top of the commentary table and giving us a sample of what his voice sounded like during puberty. He screeches as his favorite Superstar comes out and we head to break! When we return, and after clips that remind us that every time Kaiser loses, he gets beat the hell up by his boss Gunther, we finally get the former Imperium's entrance. Intercontinental Champion Gunther leads the way and Ludwig Kaiser follows in his steps. The bell rings and Ludwig comes out the gate super aggressive, pummeling Nakamura to the corner and out and attempting quick, early pins. He often looks to Gunther for his approval and uses his power submission game to work over Nakamura's neck with wrenching, working holds. Nakamura starts his comeback relatively quickly, however, and catches Kaiser with a spinning kick. Nakamura with a series of kicks in the corner, then follows it up with a standing double foot stomp for a short count.
Gunther barks orders at Kaiser as Nakamura chokes him with a foot in the corner. Kaiser angrily rises and blocks a Nakamura kick, holding the leg and converting it into a single-leg back press. Kaiser connects with a running knee and covers twice for two. Kaiser, frustrated, uses a snap suplex for another two as Gunther yells at him more. The two really need therapy, their friendship is more valuable than simple wins and losses. Nakamura positions Kaiser across the corner's top ropes and hits a running knee to Kaiser's midsection! Ludwig heads outside and Nakamura follows. Kaiser recovers quick, egged on by Gunther, and blocks a running apron strike. Kaiser sends Nakamura into the steel steps and Gunther continues to bark orders/praise as we go to another break! When we return, we're informed that Kaiser maintained control throughout the entirety of the commercial break.
Nakamura begins a comeback sequence, ending it with the as-yet-unnamed snap German sliding suplex he does when an opponent is caught in the ropes. Nakamura fights Kaiser outside and exits, following him. Nakamura sends Kaiser into the ring and has words with Gunther. Nakamura yells for him to "come on," challenging the champ to lay a finger on him. Nakamura enters the ring and Kaiser immediately attempts a roll-up for a close two. Nakamura escapes and posts up in the corner, setting up a Kinshasa. Gunther distracts him by climbing on the apron. Kaiser attempts to take advantage of it. Nakamura again attempts a roll-up, this time too close to the ropes. Gunther strikes Nakamura without the ref seeing it! Kaiser hits his finisher and picks up the upset to boos. After the match, Gunther yelled at Kaiser at the top of the ramp in German. Gunther stripped off his robe and told Kaiser to stand at attention. Kaiser did so reluctantly, then prepared himself for a chest chop. Gunther instead pat him on the back! Kaiser puffs out his chest and proudly repositions, glad his boss is happy with him--until Gunther chops his chest out of nowhere! Ouch!
Your Winner, Ludwig Kaiser!
Kayla Braxton welcomes both women backstage and looks to start the interview. Rousey compliments Braxton's dress then dismisses her. Rude! Rousey and Morgan exchanged words, with Rousey seeming to take a heel role with comments such as "let's be honest, you're Liv Morgan and I'm Ronda Rousey" and demanding Morgan shake her hand after she beats her butt. Rousey ended it by stating Morgan's got more passion than anyone in the locker room...except for Rousey.
Why the title? No clue, but loved the line. Pat and Michael on commentary begin to hype god knows what when Corbin attacks McAfee! Corbin beats McAfee for a few moments at ringside as Cole yells at him. Corbin heads up the ramp. An angry McAfee chases him to the back, and walks into another ambush as Corbin catches him coming into a room and uses a steel chair to attempt to drop the commentator. McAfee has it scouted and ducks under. The two brawl until they're separated and we go to break.
"I have one thing to say to that bum-ass Cor-bin," he says as he leads the crowd in call and repeat, "at SummerSlam you can't come out from behind me. You won't be able to hide behind the corner. You won't be able to use diaper rash as an excuse. Eight days from now, Nashville, Tennessee, you and me, one on one, man versus big dumb bald baby! And when this foot hits your ugly harpy-looking head, I"ll put your big ass down for a nap for good. See you in Nashville, bitch!" Pat mic-drops and that's that!
The New Day join commentary tonight in street clothes--and with Woods wearing a huge unicorn head. They're asked about their recent provocations of the Viking Raiders and they state it's part of their plan. Shanky and Jinder are out first, followed by Eivar the Viking Raiders. And within a minute, the Raiders have squashed Mahal and Shanky and, to add insult to squash injury, they win by count-out no less.
Your Winners, the Viking Raiders!
Sheamus, Butch (fka Pete Dunne) and Ridge Holland are in the ring and Sheamus cuts a promo on Drew McIntyre. He especially takes offense with McIntyre's wielding of a sword. He calls the Bostonians "fake Irish" to a big boo, haha. There's a podium in the ring, covered in green cloth. Drew makes his way out, sword in hand, after hearing enough whining from Sheamus about repeated murder and decapitation attempts. McIntyre enters the ring and Sheamus offers to have Holland take Butch out of the ring if McIntyre will put away the sword. Drew sheathes it in the corner rigging and Butch & Holland exit. Drew asks what happened to Sheamus, calling him a bitch. He asks what's happened as Sheamus has punked-out every single week. McIntyre reminds Sheamus that the Cardiff live event will be a place they fought at decades ago. McIntyre addresses the title situation, pointing out that the fans deserve a champion who'll fight. He then challenges Sheamus to number-one contender's match tonight.
Sheamus starts to interrupt; McIntyre tells him to show some balls. Sheamus babbles on and tells him he'll get the match "...just not tonight! You see, I spoke with WWE upper management, yeah?" He pauses as the crowd loudly chants "you suck." He continues. "I spoke to WWE upper management and they have agreed on the match, but that match will take place next week on SmackDown!" More boos. "And your sword is banned because we have a special match in mind, Drew, and it's gonna be a good ol' fashioned Irish Donnybrook Match." No DQ, no count-out, anything goes, and a selection of shillelaghs on a the cloth-covered table! He calls it also the "first-ever shillelagh" match then asks McIntyre if he's got the balls to accept the challenge. McIntyre does and Sheamus calls out WWE Official Adam Pearce, who makes it official for next week's go-home edition of SmackDown! Afterwards, McIntyre uses his sword to cut Sheamus' shillelagh in half.
Raquel is out to a nice welcome and we head to break! We return for Deville's entrance and Michael Cole explains Sonya Deville is still adjusting to life as a performer again, and no longer a WWE Official. We get the bell and both women lock up. Raquel easily overpowers Sonya, taking her back into the corner. The ref forces a break and Deville attacks Raquel. Raquel powers out of it and is slapped. Deville wraps up Raquel from behind but Rodriguez simply smiles as Deville can't hoist her. Raquel with a rear waistlock of her own but Deville escapes it and begins to focus her attacks on Raquel's left arm. And her face, as Deville slams Raquel's face repeatedly into both the top and middle turnbuckles. Deville with a running knee in the middle of the ring for a near fall. Deville takes a few moments in control of the offense until Rodriguez counters an arm bar attempt into the Tejana (Texana) Bomb to pick up the win!
Your Winner, Raquel Rodriguez!
Aliyah is out first, followed by the "American hero" Lacey Evans. Evans insults the Boston crowd for booing her, the "American hero," then riles the crowd up by saying it's no wonder Tom Brady "left this waste of a dump city." She tells the crowd she's accomplished more in a day than they will in a year. She mocks children in the crowd and their parents. She states she's accomplished because she wakes up, she works, and she wins. "And y'all should get out a pen and paper and take notes because there's not a single person in this entire building that could walk a mile in my shoes! Because I'm better than every single one of you." Aliyah tries to rip the mic away but Evans tells her to wait while she makes these "nasty sad excuses give me the respect I deserve," meaning the crowd. Evans then takes a cheap shot, hitting the Woman's Right, and means poor Aliyah stood in the ring nearly ten minutes to not even get a match.
No Match, No Result
Double J is asked about the announcement last week. He praises the Bloodline then calls the upcoming Usos/Street Profits title match one of the biggest tag team matches in history. He states that upper management needed someone who wouldn't be swayed, bribed, or blinded by the lights and can call it right down the middle. So yeah, expect Double J to cost the Profits next week.
The Usos are out first, followed by everyone else. The Profits start strong against the champs and chase the Usos out of the ring. Theory yells at the Usos to get their act together and we go to an early break! The match runs long and both teams seem equally matched. The Usos at one point punish Theory, who attempts to run away, with a double-Superkick at ringside. The action goes back and forth until Theory snaps and uses the Money in the Bank briefcase to beat on Moss, causing the disqualificaiton!
Your Winners, the Street Profits & Madcap Moss!
The familiar tones fill the arena and the Boston crowd pops huge as "the Beast" Brock Lesnar is back! Despite rumors to the contrary, Lesnar makes his way down to the ring! Cole repeatedly yells at Theory, who's threatened for weeks to cash in on Lesnar or Reigns. Lesnar blocks an attempted attack by Theory with the case and finishes him off with an F5. We end with Brock jogging over the fallen Theory and getting a great pop from the crowd.
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