WWE SmackDown Results - May 20, 2022

The Bloodline Address the WWE Universe

We open our program with what is custom--an opening four-minute recap video. The Bloodline begin their entrance at 8:04 and get on the mic four and a half minutes later. Roman demands the crowd acknowledge him--which most do, as well as boo--then demands they acknowledge the Usos to a cold reaction. Heyman hops on the mic and runs down the big names--the Rock, John Cena, Brock Lesnar--and states that you can stack them all up because "that's what would happen if they all entered the same ring as the tribal Chief, they'd be" smashed, stacked, and pinned "by the Greatest of All Time, Roman Reigns. And while you sit there with your insecure cheers, here's something you have to acknowledge. Each and every night of his life, Roman Reigns defends his position of being the G.O.A.T. Because that's what it takes to be the Tribal Chief on the Island of Relevancy. So what does it take for the Usos to be the greatest tag team of all time?" Why, a unified title, of course. He name-drops the Wild Samoans, stating the Usos are going to do something "even the Wild Samoans couldn't do...unify the tag team titles." Heyman goes on to state that the Usos will either come home with the undisputed tag team championship titles or they don't come home tot he Island of Relevancy "and that's not just a prediction...that, ladies and gentlemen, is a spoiler." Roman then addresses the twins. "You know what I want and I expect you to deliver it. The only reason I have these expectations is because I love you." He then hugs both Usos to a mix of cheers and boos, and grins. We end our segment!

Singles Match: Sami Zayn vs Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura dances his way out, walking past the Bloodline as they head to the back and we head to our first commercial break! When we return, the self-proclaimed Liberator "Locker Room Leader" Sami Zayn makes his way on out. We start off with both men battling for control, with Nakamura taking an early lead with a barrage of kicks. Michael Cole and Pat McAfee--the regular commentary team unless otherwise noted--comment on Rick Boogs' successful surgery recently, and our thoughts and wishes go out to Boogs on a speedy recover. Nakamura maintains the early control, relying on his Strong Style to batter Zayn. Zayn uses an illegal move--a hair-yank--to slam Nakamura down to the mat hard. The ref warns him; Sami mount and pounds Shinsuke. The crowd starts to wake up and root for Nakamura as Sami uses a whip and lariat to drop Nakamura, getting a close two. Nakamura ascends the turnbuckles but Nakamura is up quick and ascends the turnbuckles, throwing fists as he climbs. Nakamura sets up for a middle-rope Superplex. Zayn blocks with multiple fists and elbow smashes that send Nakamura crashing to the mat. Zayn looks for a top rope but hesitates too long, allowing Nakamura to crotch him on the turnbuckle. Nakamura goes for the Kinshasa but Zayn avoids it. Zayn dumps Nakamura off the top, sending him crashing hard to the ringside floor as we go to another break!

Back from the break. We return to find Zayn firmly in control of Nakamura, and are informed by commentary that Sami maintained so throughout the break. Nakamura starts his comeback sequence and ducks under a running lariat attempt as he bounces off the ropes four times before taking Zayn down with a jumping dragon kick. Nakamura unloads kicks on Zayn that send him stumbling into the corner, then runs in for a Kinshasa. Zayn blocks it, only to have Nakamura pull out a vintage rope-assisted snap Kyoto Suplex! Shinsuke covers for a close two. Nakamura positions in the corner and calls for another Kinshasa--but the cowardly Zayn once again retreats to the outside of the ring. The crowd really doesn't like that. Zayn suckers Nakamura in then hits a Michinoku Driver in front of the commentary table! Zayn rolls in and the ref begins his count. Shin barely rolls in as the ref comes close to ten. Both men battle outside, where Zayn is thrown into a ring post and then the timekeeper's area by Shin. Shin enters the ring and threatens to let Sami Zayn get counted out. Zayn enters the ring right at ten, only to have Shinsuke deliver a Kinshasa outta nowhere when he does to pick up the win!

Your Winner, Shinsuke Nakamura!

Happy Talk

The Happy One makes his way out and we head to break. When we return, Happy Corbin stands besides the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal(AtGMBR) statue. Corbin insults the crowd, stating none of them know what it's like to be him--he's tall, handsome, has a seventy-thousand dollar watch, et cetera. He then states he's spared the WWE from that "mouth breathing moron" Madcap Moss. He states the AtGMBR statute will look great in his case. He throws us back to clips from last week, when Corbin attacked Moss repeatedly with a steel chair, even going so far as to use the AtGMBR statue and a steel chair to smoosh Moss' head and neck, giving Moss a "cervical contusion." Corbin warns the crowd that they should learn from that. He tells people to show their bosses total respect--and gets a lot of heat--and insults the crowd's station in life. He reminds us that Madcap Moss had it good, and had a good lifestyle thanks to Corbin. "Now if he wants to eat steak, his nurse is going to have to chew it for 'im first!" He claims Moss wanted to get out of Corbin's shadow and become a big star. He calls Moss a big-shot, and points out that his feelings were hurt when he was called the "Big Bald Wolf" which, of course, leads the crowd to chanting "big bald wolf." Corbin states he's the one left standing and laughing now, and he's the "Big Bald Wolf because I huffed, and I puffed, and I put Madcap Moss in an ambulance!" He proceeds to destroy the AtGMBR statue to even more massive boos. End of segment.

Singles Match: WALTER w/ Marcel Barthel vs Drew Gulak

Before the QQ begins, WALTER = Gunther and Marcel Barthel = Ludwig Kaiser. We're treated to scenes from last week, in which Ricochet attempted to motivate Gulak and called him "unchoppable." When we return, the action is under way. Gulak fires off a chop to WALTER, but WALTER fires off one of his own--and sends the smaller Gulak cashing hard. Gulak takes two or three more blows before WALTER powerbombs him, squashing him in under a minute. After the match, WALTER applies the Boston Crab as Gulak screams in pain but refuses to tap out. Ricochet hits the ring to make the save, checking on Gulak

Your Winner, WALTER!

Backstage: WWE Official Adam Pearce and Max Dupri

Max Dupri--former NXT superstar LA Knight--made his debut, including a modified look (imagine: Robert Stone) and had a quick segment with Pearce. Max runs a male modeling agency and wants talent for the Paris Fashion Week. I'm not trolling you on this.

Backstage Interview: Raw Tag Team Champions RK-Bro and Kayla Braxton

Riddle and a freshly-shaved--no more 'stache!--Orton and Riddle explain RK-Bro 4:20 means they just smoked the Usos' asses and they promise to retain their titles and win some blue gold.

Singles Match: Raquel Gonzalez vs Shotzi

After a backstage confrontation between Aliyah, Raquel and Shotzi, Raquel makes her way out for her match against the high-flyer Shotzi. Shotzi comes out, sans tank (but still wearing her tank hard helmet) ahead of this match. We return after words from their sponsors and get on with the match. The bell rings and Raquel starts off using her strength to easily handle Shotzi. Impressive spot from Raquel, in which an elevated wrist lock is used to send Shotzi flying. Shotzi gets a few seconds of offense in, looking for a submission along the ropes and then a sleeper. Raquel easily weathers it, then absorbs a few blows from Shotzi before countering a Hurricanrana with a Fallaway Slam before inevitably hitting a Chingona Bomb to pick up the quick win.
Your Winner, Raquel Gonzalez!

Singles Match: Xavier Woods vs "the Butcherweight" Pete Dunne

For those who are unaware, "the Butcherweight" Pete Dunne goes by "Butch." Woods makes his entrance solo and we head to break. When we return, it's Fight Night time--and the newly-dubbed the Brawling Brutes faction sends Dunne out alone. Woods does sit-ups in the ring as he awaits his enemy. We get the bell and Dunne comes out the gate aggressive, drawing from his British Strong Style playbook as he manipulates Woods' digits and uses a mix of strong stomps and head locks to wear down the New Day flyer. The crowd chants for Woods, firing him up to a vertical base. Dunne with a big slap to Woods; Woods fires off a rolling cutter and nearly picks up the win. Dunne recovers quick and slows the pace with working holds on Woods. Dunne catches Woods draped over the top rope and kicks him repeatedly as the ref warns him. Dunne looks for a single-foot stomp off the middle rope to the rope-hung Woods, but Woods dodges. Woods attempts some offense, only to be laid out by Dunne with a rolling elbow. Dunne pounds on Woods' back head and the ref warns him. This gives Woods enough time to roll-up Dunne and steal the win! Dunne, frustrated, leaves the ring and through the audience again as Pat McAfee speculates that Dunne must need to go take ad ump. Yep.

Your Winner, Xavier Woods!

The Brawling Brutes Brutally Brawl w/ Xavier Woods

Yep, getting the stupid jokes out the way now. As Woods poses on the top of the ramp/stage entrance, Sheamus and Ridge Holland exit to confront him. He turns his attention to them--and is attacked from behind by Dunne, who streaks up the ramp from out of nowhere. The Brawling Brutes stand over Woods and we're sent to a video ahead of our main event.

WWE Tag Team Unification Championship Main Event Match: SmackDown's the Usos vs Raw's RK-Bro

RK-Bro are out first, followed by the Usos. We get the official introductions as the crowd finally wakes up for our main event. RK-Bro are shown massive love for the Raw Superstars. Both teams are almost electric in the pre-match bit. After another break for ads, we return and Orton starts us off with Jimmy Uso. Hot crowd for Orton as he takes it to Jimmy Uso. Riddle comes in and Orton assists with the step-up Moonsault. Paul Heyman joins commentary for this match. Jimmy takes control over Riddle and takes the Original Bro to the mat, pounding on his head before slapping on a chin lock. The crowd is somehow louder for Riddle as they try to fire the Bro up. Riddle looks for an Irish Whip; Jimmy counters with a Strong Irish Whip of his own that sends Riddle crashing too-hard into the corner before face-planting on the mat. Jimmy Uso repositions and slaps on a weak choke-hold, checking on Riddle discreetly before back off to allow the ref to follow-up with Riddle. We quickly go to a break a minute after returning.

Back from the break. Riddle is in the ring, apparently fine and Dandy, until the Usos hit a double-team move that drops Riddle. We get replays of the vicious whip but Riddle has been cleared to continue. Jey chokes Riddle on the bottom rope, distracting the ref to allow Jimmy to sucker-punch Riddle. Orton angrily enters the ring, which does no good, and the Usos continue their general strategy of cutting the ring in half to isolate Riddle while using frequent tags to "dissect" Riddle per Cole. After taking some abuse, Riddle powers to a vertical base and the crowd comes alive again. Riddle's hot tag is blocked by Jimmy Uso with a suplex. "Main Event" Jey Uso is tagged in and stomp Riddle, yelling "we the ones!" Pat McAfee thanks both Heyman and Cole for allowing him to be in the presence of the Usos, haha.

Riddle fires off a desperate kick and after a prolonged period, makes the hot tag to Orton! Vintage Orton as he uses a pair of spinning Powerslams to take down both Usos. Orton sets up Jimmy for the Spike DDT, relishes in it a few moments, and hits it! Orton pounds the mat and hits an RKO! Orton covers for a close two but Jey barely makes the save--by a tenth of a second, nearly botching it! Jey drags Jimmy over and tags himself in. Jey with a Superkick to Orton as Riddle tags in. Riddle with his signature running forearms-into-a-Fisherman's Suplex. Uso counters with back suplex and covers for a close count of his own. Jey climbs the turnbuckles slowly. Riddle pops up and looks for a Super RKO! The ref is distracted by Heyman, allowing Roman Reigns to interfere! Jey Uso connects with the Uso Splash and pick up the win!

Your Winners and NEW WWE Unified Tag Team Champions, the Usos!

After the Match: the Bloodline Strikes

The Bloodline--now holding all the men's gold, excluding the mid-card titles, attack Riddle and Orton. Reigns, incensed by Riddle's running knee strike last week, beats Riddle and locks in a Guillotine outside the ring as the Usos use steel steps like a battering ram to batter Randy. Roman positions Riddle and Jey ascends the top, hitting an Uso Splash off the top and through the commentary table! We're shown children crying in the crowd (seriously) and Roman slaps in a Guillotine on Orton, screaming at him "what do you think now?" We fade to black.