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WWE Superstar and former Divas Champion Alicia Fox recently appeared on Lilian Garcia's Chasing Glory podcast.
Starting out in WWE at a young age:
āComing into it I felt really insecure being around all these very driven people that worked hard and did the indies and do their research and diligence to get there. I felt very insecure about when I had an opinion about something or even when it comes to putting a match together, even speaking about what I know from the experience Iāve pulled because Iāve been in the locker room with a lot of greats. Mickie James, Melina, Gail Kim, Beth Phoenix, Katie Lea, ODB, come from a lot of experience of their own and the question that I will answer, āHow this environment has affected them as an individualā. So theyāve overcome that, but I think for an answer to that question for me, I think Iām very blessed to have been able to be in the business early. Wrestling in itself it seems like a small bubble in a weird way, but youāre kind of lucky to be in that bubble because youāre really quickly faced with all types of issues that the real world faces at maybe more of an extended timeframe. You kind of get a very quick crash course in life.ā
Witnessing her parentsā domestic abuse:
āI donāt really know if I understood at that point what I was really witnessing. I just remember one night my sister and I in Texas ā I think this was one of the last nights we were at my house in Greenville, Texas. My mom, I could hear her crying of like pain or sadness or something and my dad, things were breaking. It was just very violent and a very bad kind of night. I remember my sister and I not knowing what to do because we shared a room. I remember we were going to open the window and just start screaming for help. It was the first time that I for whatever reason my mind saw myself and my sister screaming out that window from above in a very weird meditated state. If I could recall that night, because itās one of the only memories I really have of my parents being abusive, other than the fact that my dad moved to Commerce, Texas where he could finish his degree and I remember my mom being very miserable there and I think that was where it started kicking off.ā
Sometimes feeling embarrassed about her career:
āSometimes I feel embarrassed of my career in a sense because like when the fans come up and say, āUnderrated or this or that.ā I never really realized that until social media popped up. Then Iām left thinking, āAm I underrated?ā Iām one of the only girls that donāt have any merch, never had any merch even when the Bella Twins and I were together it was still Team Bella, but I never complained about any of those things because in my head, āItās okay, itās okay.ā A lot of fluffy content thinking. But you know what, maybe itās not okay, but then it gets me upset and angry because then Iām thinking well what will my next chapter look like? Is it going to be okay if Iām not putting food on my table or my careerās at the control of someone else?ā
Being the first African American Divas Champion:
āIt feels amazing because back then I think I was like 24 or something, I was like a kid. I donāt think I really would have appreciated that moment the way I would today because I didnāt really know what was going on. I almost still couldnāt believe that they even gave me the title and still had no idea the responsibility how I could have taken it further. Between then and now, the experience collected, I feel like, āOkay that would be done a lot different.ā But I didnāt believe in me. I did not, up until I think probably a year ago didnāt believe in me. Until I had to sit with myself and we talked it out and the thing that I realized that I was struggling the most with is I had all these goals, all these things, but I didnāt realize that I didnāt have a very vivid painted picture of what that land of milk and honey looked like, whereas it would have made the journey and certain things along the journey easier because I would be able to identify them.ā
Seeing herself on Total Divas:
āI was on it and I didnāt like the way I came off. Not because of their editing, but because of myself. I didnāt like seeing where I was at that point. I thought I looked like a crazy young drunken nut. Trust me, I have those moments still, but I didnāt like everyone else seeing that. That made me feel very uncomfortable. Itās still kind of uncomfortable because you think there were more wrestling fans because itās my real job, but thereās more Diva fans in some cases and all they want to say is, āOh my gosh, you and Paige are so nuts!ā Or if Iām at a bar or restaurants, theyāll send shots. I donāt like that. I think it relates to where I was in that state of mind and I couldnāt help but to blame my environment.ā
Her mother living in the streets and Alicia's past relationship with Wade "Bad News" Barrett:
āMy mom was on the street for like three years. It was insane. That was horrible. That was horrible because for me I knew that she was giving me a lot of stress and anxiety that I was bringing to work. I didnāt really realize it was having such a huge effect on me.
āI couldnāt even talk to Stu [Bennett, a.k.a. Wade Barrett] about it. I love Stu to death, but he was not the kind of relationship partner that I felt comfortable to talk about where I was emotionally and that was something I felt like, āWell, maybe Iām not worthy, maybe I shouldnāt, maybe these emotions arenāt right.ā Itās just who he is. Heās not an emotional person. Weāre just better friends. When I was really going through this thing when my mom was on the street and stuff, I wanted someone to talk about it with. So instead, I held it in my stomach and moved on. So my mom kept a diary of her whole experience on the streets. Sleeping in cars, meeting people, doing this, doing that and she kept a diary of it. I keep telling her, āMom, you got to write this book out. You got to put it out there because people could probably really benefit, you know? Maybe somebodyās in the same zone.ā I havenāt brought myself to read it because, from some of the stuff my momās told me so far, it sounds really ugly and very scary and very life-threatening.ā
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